Disgruntled — or not

I usually try to have a positive outlook on things. Really. Bitching doesn’t do much good — I’d rather tackle the problem at hand and move on. But man, this weekend just left me soooo… I guess disgruntled is the word. Some of it is real and some of it is stupid, but they are all real to me.

So first, without going into the nitty-gritty, I just need to ask: why do men get a pass for everything in life? They don’t have to be responsible, or think ahead, or pay attention to details. Not one of them. A lot of times I think it’s because we, women, make it so that they don’t have to. We are the planners and the caregivers and thinkers and also the control freaks. Maybe in the end that stifles whatever creativity men had in their little heads. I know I am like that. I know it’s hard for me to just not care how things get done, or what the baby eats, or what we are going to do about certain things. I want to know and I want to be in control of all of it. All the time. I know this is not healthy and I try hard to let go of certain things. And I know it’s not fair to complain about how something gets done, as long as it gets done. Because I know that I am lucky — my hubby helps a lot at home and I don’t think I could do this without him. But some days it’s hard to silence that little voice — OK, not so little! — that wants to scream: Why didn’t you think of this??? Why do I have to think of everything???

The good news is that it’s not just my household that’s like this. Just this weekend, I had at least three other examples where we, women, were just left scratching our heads and wondering what exactly our men were thinking. *If* they were thinking! So that’s a bit of a consolation. We are not alone, ladies!

My other disgruntlement is more… shallow, shall we say? I was at a friends’ baby shower this weekend and while I had a lovely time, I just wanted to pull the host aside and ask her this: what exactly do you and your husband know that you can afford a house like this? Seriously. What is the secret? Drew believes that most people like that with the huge houses and huge cars are in debt up to their eyeballs. Maybe he is right. It is comforting that we have no debt at all, other than our mortgage, but some days I would just like to take that credit card out for a spin and update our kitchen and build an extension to the house and do many, many other things.

Very superficial, I know. But I have to sweep up wood shavings from our kitchen floor on a regular basis because our drawers are so old. Booo. So yeah, I had major house envy this weekend.

The one thing I would not trade for anything is Sammy. And honestly, I’d rather live in a cardboard box as long as we are all healthy and happy. I know how lucky I am. (So Great Powers Above, you can ignore my previous whining about men and houses. I am fine.)

Sammy is starting his “why?” period, which is just fascinating. At times I feel like I am talking in circles explaining the many, many whys that surface throughout the day. And I hate to admit it, but last night when Sam questioned why he couldn’t get up from the dinner table until everyone was done, I did say “because I said so.” Ugh. I also used the classic “because I am your mother” line. But sometimes that’s just the truth, right?

We are also working on potty training — with some success. He pees in his potty every night before his bath and a couple of times he sat on the potty during the day. He is very proud every time he goes and seems to be fascinated by the process of pouring the contents into the toilet and flushing. It’s the small things, right? I think I will buy him some underwear soon and stay at home for a couple of days to see how things go. Although as a friend and I agreed, at times potty training seems to be more trouble than it’s worth. Public toilets, here we come! I might have to buy one of these.

Lots of other things are going on too… work/life balance questions, parents and brother applying for citizenship, Hungary in turmoil… But as the Hungarian poet says:

Elolvadt a világ,
de a közepén
anya ül és ott ülök
az ölében én.

(Translation: The world has melted, but in its middle there is mama, with me on her lap.)

So there.

 

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