I have not been very good at it. I will shamelessly blame this on the baby – he sucks out all of my energy. And I am totally cool with it. But then comes a point where I become a cranky mama because I haven’t been taking care of me. I am realizing this now and I am trying to slowly take some steps to make sure that I have the energy, good spirits, and physical well-being required by this all-consuming job of being a parent.
Yes – it is very easy to grab something at Starbucks in the morning because I am in a hurry and I feel bad about dropping him off at daycare. But me being 800 lbs. is probably not beneficial to Sammy in the long run. So that has to stop. (I am drinking my last vanilla bean frappuccino as we speak. Damn, it’s so good!) And yes, it’s easy to shovel ice cream into my face in the evening to relieve the stress of the day – but again, we are back to the 800 lbs. dilemma. And it’s lovely to spend every waking moment with Sam, it really is, but mama also needs some time when she is thinking non-mama thoughts.
So this week I took a vacation day on Tuesday (yay for four day weekend!) and had a lovely “me-me-me-me” day. My parents bought me a massage gift certificate for my birthday, so I started the day at a spa. It was just lovely. The massage therapist was awesome and found every knot in my neck and shoulders. I knew that those were my tense areas, but then she also founds knots in my… calf? Really? Also, my knees? My lower arms? Well, I am just one big ball of nerves!
After that – with perfect timing – I made it to the movie theater where I saw Eclipse. It was perfectly entertaining, but it shook my Team Edward-ness to the core. He is a bit of a control freak and a wimp, to put it bluntly. But I am still a sucker for vampires, so I just hope he will man-up for Breaking Dawn.
Then I had a few hours at home in the afternoon before retrieving Sam from daycare. I definitely felt better and calmer in the evening. It’s also helping that Sam’s been going to sleep around 7:30 p.m. and this way Drew and I can have some time to talk and watch TV or read. Or go to bed at 8 p.m., which has happened.
The next few weeks are promising to be busy – doctor’s appointments, family visits, then our trip to Hungary, which requires all sorts of strategic and emotional planning. My plan is to start up yoga again and hope that it will not only whip me into shape, but help keep my sanity as well. Fingers crossed.