This is how it usually goes: Something happens and I think “ha, I should blog about that.” Then I sit down to do just that. And I can’t remember what I wanted to write about. This is exactly what’s happening right now. So I will fill the space with random happenings and thoughts… Maybe that’s what I wanted to write about in the first place.
Sammy: He turned over this past weekend! He did it three times in a row, but not since then, so I am not sure whether it was a fluke or not. He was pretty cute doing it. I shrieked like a maniac when it first happened and that probably freaked him out too. He also started to reach for things just the past week or so. This afternoon he was reaching for my toes when I had him on my lap and I had my legs crossed. That was pretty funny. He is also reaching for his bottle, my hair, Drew’s glasses, Grandma’s shirt. Note to self: Keep fragile and poisonous materials out of the way.
He also likes to grab faces – especially noses. And he likes to examine teeth. When I feed him he regularly sticks his hand in my mouth and roots around. It’s funny because Anne Lamott wrote about her son (who also happens to be Sam) doing the same in Operating Instructions. Great book. I got Imperfect Birds for my birthday, but I haven’t cracked it open yet.
OK, back to Sam. We went to an osteopath today to have his neck checked out. He’s been holding his neck at a tilt and he still does not like to turn his head to the left. The doctor thinks that it’s something that happened during labor – he must have been at an angle when he came out and his neck muscles and bones – and apparently his ribs! – got out of alignment. I guess it doesn’t take much for a small baby with soft bones to get banged around during labor. Thank you, natural childbirth. Between this and my issues with healing, I really have to question what the hype is about. Ugh.
He’s been doing really well with his solid food. He loves to eat apples with a spoon and he gets potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, parsnips, and spinach out of a bottle. It’s fun to come up with new combinations: potatoes and apples; sweet potatoes, carrots, and parsnips; potatoes, apples, carrots; spinach and potatoes… I always taste his food and I am shocked to find out what veggies taste like without any salt or other seasoning. It’s like eating a completely different food.
Me: I had my yearly evaluation this week. It went really well. I got a raise and a really nice bonus, so I have nothing to complain about. Except that it really doesn’t thrill me as it did last year. I am finding that this is what happened with most of the stuff I used to enjoy: shopping, movies, books, friends. Everything is just “meh, OK.” The only thing that’s truly thrilling is Sammy. And that’s a lot of pressure on a little guy. I guess even without realizing it I will inflict all sorts of emotional damage on him, but I’d like to be somewhat conscious of what I am doing to him. So another note to self: Not all of your happiness can come from a toothless, 29-inch-long, drooling little being. Except it can… Stop it! Stop it!
Is anyone else out there finding motherhood very lonely? I have lots of friends with babies and I have Drew, my parents, and my brother, but it still feels very alone out here in motherland. It feels like no matter how much I can talk to my friends, or share with Drew, in the end I am alone with big, HUGE decisions and responsibilities. I know that there are a lot of people out there who feel the same upheaval that having a baby means, and yet everyone’s upheaval is different and is about different things. So even if you can share, nobody can really understand what it’s like to be ME. Does this make sense?
But enough about me. Sammy and I are home for the rest of the week – yay for working from home! – so I am planning on lots of snuggling and stretching exercises for his neck. Poor guy.